The latest storm at sea has blown off a whole piece of my dunes.

I am not youngish anymore and mentally it carries a little weight with me.

So I decided to write a Belgian blog to share my experiences, my diversity of interests and opinions with my gender soulmates. So that I might start to except the certain development in my life that I am driving on “Road 50” despite my motto of life ‘we are standing before it, so we must go through it…’

Probably many women will be surprised that I worry about my ‘young elderly’ age; others will agree that my sense of despair once and a while sounds reasonable. Because, contrary to my age, I still have a lot of ambitions and I still want to achieve and undergo a lot of new things before my candles will snuff out. And the most important, I am single and live by myself; the amount of potential partners is going drastically ‘sternward’ and because of a demanding fulltime job and a few hobby’s my social life is also not what it should be. I feel like Bridget Jones… (I am really NOT complaining!)

As a woman, where I look, what I read, any content, any poster, every book, every article, every magazine is spreading the paragon of young, juvenile, beauty , pure, clean, perfect…I can go on like that.

Obviously those aspects are very important, the conception of ‘young and juvenile’ is the future of our society. Yet through that, I have the possibly unfounded feeling of uselessness as if I am a shaggy garden that cannot be saved anymore.

The advantage of being almost aged is that there might appear time to finally start doing things such as writing a song and debut, write a book and get successful, get into fashion and develop an own brand, become an astronaut and fly to the moon, experience the wildest sex fantasy and so on. Only, no-one wants to give a young elderly access to the endless possibilities to achieve those goals, although I still feel young and talented to start doing those things. No-one is demanding ‘wanting OLD talented people…’ for this or that and certainly not the average man on dating sites  –not that I have an account- who fills in ‘limited to 45 years old’ when he is in search of a woman, even though the man himself is more than extremely over ‘seniored’. And when you call the respectively man to account, ignorance is run-to-the-mill.

Maybe (and hopefully) this says more about ‘men on dating sites’ then ‘men in general’.

But I don’t think so…that would be a far too optimistic self-fulfilling thought

No, I will remain in the pessimistic mood, despite my optimism.

It is just a fact…women who become 50 years (or older) don’t count anymore in the sense of starting up something of any kind in this society.

As the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined…

And no…I will not give up! Tomorrow is another day!

Leanna Lila Rose